Muffin (muffinluvr4life) wrote,
Muffin
muffinluvr4life

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cherry.

I told cherry everything. i told her how i do not approve of travis. i told her how i resent him for breaking us apart. i told her how i think his influence and controlling fucking tendencies ruined us. and i told her that she did nothing to stop it. i told her i hated him and i wouldn't stop. i also told her i never stopped caring about her. because i didn't she didn't deserve for me to think about her like i did. but i did. and as much as sarah hates it, i wouldn't and can't stop. i told her that i think it's travis's fault she didn't accept sarah's apology. because it is. the cherry we knew wouldn't have done that.  i also told her she deserves so much better.

i might have gotten through? she apologized for everything.... told me she was glad to have me as a friends.... and she was sorry she hurt me... what do i do? i accepted her apology. that's what i did. i'm sorry sarah. i shouldn't have. but i can't help it. i want her to find someone else and if i can help her do that, then i will. because travis deserves less then... he deserves nothing. he deserves less then the dirt cherry kicks up as she walks away from him. he's a fucking asshole. period. doucheville's resident jesus. they call all look up to an asshole like that in doucheville.

she doesn't deserve that i'm still here for her. i hope she knows that. i hope she knows how much she hurt me and i hope she knows that if i wasn't who i am, i wouldn't be here. she'd run back to travis if i wasn't me. but as of now, i'm trying to show her who he really is.

god. what the fuck. 3 years cherry! *sigh* and yet, she never left my heart.... i'm such a softy. i hate it. but if it helps her... then it's okay. as long as she's okay. if she was with a good guy, i would have never taken her back like that. but it's his fault. and she needs support. she doesn't need him. if i didn't accept her, she would have run back to him.

i sound like i'm using the friendship to break them up. that's not true. i just have an overwhelming hatred of the guy who took away one of my BEST friends. we'll never be quite the same. it's his fucking fault. he's part of the reason i don't have my group of friends anymore. now, i just have sarah... eric... mike... when i used to have sarahericmikecherry. we were... us. and now were not. travis is part of the reason. he's a HUGE part of the reason.

fuck.... fuck fuck fuck. i really have to stop making myself cry...
Tags: cherry
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